Space Olympics
by JumpingPantsSauce
Summary: A play on words of The Lonely Island's Space Olympics featuring the Sailor Senshi and Andy Samberg. ONESHOT


**Space Olympics**

**I do NOT own either Sailor Moon OR Saturday Night Live OR any songs by The Lonely Island including Space Olympics. Just so you know, and don't sue me. REVIEWWWWW!!**

It all started on Mars. After so many years of the Olympics being held on Earth, the rulers of the planets decided that it would be fairer to include the rest of the Solar System. When time for the 1st Annual Winter Space Olympics of 3022 rolled around, Princess of Mars Rei Hino decided that due to the vast icebergs, Mars would be the ideal location for the Space Luge. The Intergalactic Board of Olympic Atheletes agreed, and appointed Rei as the coordinator, a position that she gladly declined and passed down to one of her generals, Andy Samberg.

General Samberg was a strange man. Borderline albino, he was incredibly pale with hair as white as the Martian icecaps, his eyebrows as thick and curly as the hair on his head. Rei put him in charge of all spending and event coordination. "First thing we must do," the odd general announced, "is drug testing! REACH FOR THE STARS!!!"

And so the main competitors lined up outside of the restrooms of Phobos Deimos Castle with their little pee cups. First, Ami registered and had her drug test. She passed her drug test, just as she did all of her tests, with flying colors. She then proceeded to register for her main event, Space Swimming and Luge and then the lady gave her a coded I.D. badge.

Representing Venus, Minako approached the desk cheerily. She handed her cup of fresh urine to the official. Her urine failed. She tested positive for opiates. Although the committee would not accept her excuse, Minako foolishly had enjoyed two lemon-poppyseed muffins for breakfast.

Because she was busy behind the scenes, Rei decided to abstain from competition. So next to register was Makoto. She handed her urine to the woman. Before the woman could tell her the results, General Samberg jumped in out of nowhere yelling, "You're a winner!" Then he was gone. Mako passed the drug test and registered for Space Disc and Swords.

Of the outers, only Haruka and Michiru decided to compete. Both passed their tests and received their I.D. badges. Haruka decided to compete in the same events as Makoto, while Michiru signed up for the same events as Ami.

All the competitors lined up for the evenings announcements with the uniquely dressed, caped crusader General Andy Samberg. "Everyone will be lodging in an Athlete's Village not far from here in a town called Zargon. Your rooms will be very comfortable with two double beds, a comfortable breakfast table, and a minibar. But we suggest that you keep your ass off of it, because we don't cover incidentals. Any questions? Ok! We'll see you in the morning! You're the best in the world!!"

Although they found the rooms comfortable, they were not exactly suite material. And most of the senshi kept out of the minibar, with the exception of Minako who was extremely depressed after being disqualified and investigated for illegal drugs.

The next morning, they went into the meeting area for morning announcements and General Samberg was there looking quite sad. Rei looked like a serial murderer as she approached the podium. "There have been some minor adjustments to the schedule due to the actions of Mr. Samberg. He would like to make these announcements himself. Mr. Samberg."

He approached the podium, wincing as he passed the Martian princess. "The following announcements apply to all nations. Number one. Every competitor will only receive one meal a day. There was a budget snafu and now the funding for the meals is insufficient. Also, in order to help with the depletion of our budget, some events have been totally cancelled. The cancelled events include Space Disc, Space Swords, and Space Luge. All the other events are pending…" He began to walk away from the podium, but Rei pushed him back.

"Tell them why our funds are insufficient, Andy." She growled.

"I seem to have confused the budget money with my own and spent it on lavish outfits…But as I stare death in the face" he said as he glanced back at the look in Rei's eyes, "I know my sins will take me to Hell."

"Take him away, guards..."

As the guards came and led him to prison for embezzlement, he yelled back at Rei, "There ain't no woman who can take your spot my love!"

All she could do was shake her head and laugh.

Please REVIEW!


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